the end is near...

the date is set, the end is near and emotions are running high.

i finally got the date set with my dr this week and i have a focus point for this to all end. i am so happy, excited but most of all right now anxious and quite scared. it felt very confronting when i did all the paperwork with the dr for the surgery and he ran through all the risks of the surgery etc. now i know that is just procedure and i have had a c/section before (emergency) plus other surgery but this i felt quite emotional over. it is just sooooooooo different to giving birth naturally.

i am like an emotional ball of rubber bands ready to be cut and unravelled at any given second right now. i was even snitchy with one of my very dear, kind, helpful and caring friends (sorry anita!) for which i apologised after, i am just so on edge.

i had a really good chat with my best friend (thanks sarah) who has 5 children, had 3 natural, 4th emergency c/section, 5th kind of planned c/section so she totally gets where i am coming from on every level.

i know all will be fine and as soon as i see my precious little baby girl all will be forgotten, i just can't shake this emotional fear right now. i'm also getting my tubes tied during the surgery and whilst this is exactly what i definitely want to do i feel very sad that i won't be having any more babies. i can pass up the pregnancy bit any day but the new babies i just love!

i am keeping the date under wraps right now for my own sanity as i just can't be reminded all the time that it is approaching, plus i like the idea of making the news a little surprise for you all.

belly getting very big now....

week 36

week 36

i've been doing it tough and just want this over. now i've managed to pick up a cold just for good measure. as i sit here covered with tissues to stop my constantly dripping nose i feel completely sorry for myself.

seeing dr again this week so desperately hoping to get my date finalised. this will give me the focus to get through to the end.

until next week..

the can't wait list..

i wrote this the other night during one of my sleepless nights...

as i sit here at 1am yet again suffering from this terrible insomnia i decided i would do a list of things i simply can't wait for:

• to sleep on my belly and/or back
• to have a DRINK
• to be comfortable when i sleep
• to not need to pee several times a night
• to be rid of insomnia
• to not feel like i'm about to vomit out a baby
• no more heartburn
• no more sciatic back pain
• a 'normal' hormone balance
• no more painful ugly veins in my legs

i'm sure there are other symptoms/joys that aren't listed above that i will miss like a hole in the head but that's the list for now.

week 35

as we inch ever closer to the end of this pregnancy i feel so glad i won't have to ever feel this uncomfortable again. this is definitely my last baby and i am so ready to close this chapter in my life, however, no sooner have i said that i feel sad that this will be my last baby.

i so love having new babies and i am so sad this is my last.

what i am looking forward to is getting some of me back and regaining some sort of shape to my poor body. i will no longer have it hijacked by these little beings i have been creating. gee what a clever mama i am!

i see my dr this afternoon and i'm hoping to get a date finalised so i have my end to focus on so i can get through this last little bit.

until next week....

week 34

i am getting so over this being pregnant caper. my belly is so big and so hard that i am constantly uncomfortable. i pretty much get braxton hicks contractions when i walk anywhere, even from the lounge to the kitchen and whilst these aren't painful they make my belly so hard it is seriously uncomfortable.

saw ob last week and thankfully he is sympathetic that i am nearing the end of my tether. i've been sick so many times this pregnancy and yep you guessed it i'm getting sick yet again, not impressed!

until next week..