getting further along has prompted me to really think about the fact that i will be having another cesarean. i cannot stress enough how much i really, really, really do not want to have surgery again. having done both natural (my first 2) then cesarean (my 3rd) i know the difference and i can tell you 1000% i would rather labour for 30hrs, heck even 48hrs to avoid that surgery and the recovery pain.
a sterile, cold operating room full of people, bright blinding lights being strapped to a table is not my idea of celebrating the birth of my baby. now i'm not an all natural type of woman for birth, i do have epidurals which means i am confined to the bed for my birth, but i do have my husband with me ALL the time and i have my favourite cd playing on the stereo and my lip gloss on my table right at arms lenght. all of that is gone by signing up for a repeat cesarean.
i thought i had dealt with this and i was 'ok' with the surgery and recovery but i just don't think i am.
i just watched a video of a woman who had a cesarean for her first birth after 'failure to progress' then she had a planned cesarean with her 2nd baby as she was told the baby was 'big' then she had a home water birth for her 3rd. i cried and cried. i remember lying on that operating table being absolutely terrified and i just know i am going to be terrified again.
my husband wants me to have the cesarean as he do not want to take a risk no matter how small. he said 'you've done it natural, you have given birth before'. i guess by that he means i have done it that way, i've had my experience, now it's just time to go with the 'safe' way. it is so not about that for me. i know i can do it, i've done it. it's about the experience as explained above and the recovery.
my dr said he would support a vbac for me but he 'really doesn't recommend it'. i get this, dr's are all about avoiding any risk and obviously he can't tell me all will be fine. he has seen a rupture before and actually had to repair it but he has not had a patient in his care that has ruptured. possibly because they all have repeat cesareans perhaps?
i am conflicted and it doesn't sit well with me.
have you had a vbac & what was you experience? or alternatively, did you choose to have a repeat cesarean, if so were you happy with your choice. i would love to hear from you to try and make this decision a little easier for me.
thanks in advance.