happy birthday beautiful girl

at exactly this time last year i was preparing to meet you.  i was nervous, anxious and very, very scared. i was worried about the pain, the recovery and the 3 other little kids i had at home.

here's the post i wrote just before i went to hospital.

 i was feeling very nervous before i was taken into the surgery

              here you come...                                                                     welcome baby girl

our first moments together

proud daddy - it never loses it's buzz                                           so precious and little - just 2880g

you were just adorable

and this is you now - such a beautiful happy little girl

happy 1st birthday mila - you have been a pure joy in our family and we love you so very much.

xx

         

little bit of leopard anyone?

Introducing our newest gorgeous gown - Funky Mama

she's sexy, she's glamourous and she's super confident.  funky mama is made of 95% cotton, 5% spandex and just screams sophistication and style.  you will certainly be the best looking woman in the maternity ward with this beautiful number.

available for pre-sale today with stock due in just a couple of weeks, ensure you secure yours today!

and the best part of all, priced at just $72.95 they are sure to walk out the door!

hope you enjoy.

we've gone international

we are so super excited to announce... we've gone INTERNATIONAL!

our gorgeous range of birthing gowns are now available in Dubai at Blush and Bloom.  if you are located in UAE and are pregnant be sure you stop over to check them out as they really have some wonderful products.  you can also like them on facebook here.

and we extend a very warm welcome to Loretta and the team and we look forward to working with you.

FFS - 27th April

so i decided it was time to join in on Dear Baby G's FFS, it's not like i wouldn't have any material...

husband for some reason doesn't see the need to use a towel after a shower & makes wet footprints all over the floor - FFS

we have white porcelain tiles that you can't see wet footprints on and it makes the tiles a complete death trap - FFS

i hate when people don't get back to me.  i think i am very considerate of peoples time so i ensure i allow enough time for people to get things done and i don't often ask for things in unachievable time frames but really is getting back to me an unreasonable request - FFS

ok maybe i'm just unreasonable - FFS

i'm going away to melbourne for a trade show and i didn't think i'd have that much 'stuff' to take, i was wrong - FFS

i have to put the 3 little kids in childcare for the whole week i'm away at the trade show.  childcare for 3 kids is VERY expensive - FFS

the baby is now 10mths old and still has reflux.  no need to feel sorry for her as it doesn't bother her, only now she crawls around and vomits - FFS

the baby is now crawling - FFS

on said white porcelain tiles - FFS

i found out yesterday afternoon that the Mothers Day gift exchange for school has to be in today - FFS

Mothers Day is ages away - FFS

miss 6 has a new tuckshop at school and she is very excited about this.  i sent her off to school yesterday with her little paper lunch bags with what she was having written on them & the money inside.  there's no tuckshop on thursdays - FFS

mother of the year award to me yet again - FFS

i actually do know there isn't tuckshop on thursdays, i was just totally screwed up from the public holiday on wednesday.  who the hell has a public holiday on a wednesday - FFS

as i was going to write this i see blogger has changed (yep it's been a while since i last posted).  i don't like change - FFS

so that just about sums up my week - how was yours?

does this happen in your house....

let it be known it peeves me beyond belief that i am the only one in this household that changes this!

is it the same in your house?

we have a WINNER!

thank you to all who entered our competition to win one of our fabulous gowns!

the winner is CHERIE, congratulations Cherie!

Cherie picked the stunning Princess Mama for her grandaughter who is due to give birth in september.  we hope she just loves it Cherie and congrats again!

Giveaway time - WIN your choice of gown!

since we've just turned 2 we are feeling the love the have decided it's YOU who gets the presents!



we'd love to know which is your favourite design!

entering is simple:
1.  jump over to our website and choose your favourite
2.  go and like our facebook page here 
3.  leave a comment below on your selection and why you love it so much


please share the love around and remember they make the perfect gift idea too!

competition closes midnight 16/03/12 and winner will be selected by random org and announced on 19/03/12

motherhood ~ what an isolating experience

i never understood what motherhood would be like, i mean how could you really know anyway? it probably didn't start well for me with my first pregnancy being unplanned and all. i mean i found out 3 weeks before my wedding - what a shock! anyway, that's getting off track and a whole other post..

i am so fucking sick of doing the same shit every day. i'm sick of cleaning up after everyone, cooking dinner, washing, folding, changing shitty nappies, picking shit up off the floor and the list just goes on BUT is never. ending. i try to explain it to husband and he says he gets it but i know he doesn't, i mean how could you possibly know if you don't live it day in day out. every. single. day.

my business helps and doesn't. it helps in adding variation to my day and keeps me stimulated but obviously adds another pressure and something on the list of things to do. i'm now embarking on another business venture, well you know because 1 business, 4 kids, a husband, house and a dog just aren't enough.. in all seriousness i love working and i really am an ideas person so coming up with new ideas just kinda comes naturally to me.

so stay tuned to my not so riveting parenting and new exciting adventures with giggle australia in the coming months :)

do you find motherhood mundane and isolating? how do you combat it?

ok yep, i'm a bad mama

just a warning before i start, this post isn't pretty.

yesterday morning i smacked miss 6 hard, like really hard on her legs. i didn't really mean to smack her that hard but sometimes you just 'connect' if you know what i mean? the night before she got into big trouble for banging on mr 3's very sore infected ear and in the morning she did it again - i lost it.

i feel bad, no correction, i feel terrible. i left her in her room afterwards then i went back in and talked to her about it. i told her i was very upset at her for touching is sore ear again and that was very mean but i told her i was sorry i smacked her so hard and that i loved her very much. we talked a little more and she cried and said sorry to mr 3.

mornings are stressful and i'm not using that as an excuse but there is no denying it. getting 4 kids up, fed, lunches made, dressed, bags packed, hair and teeth done, in the car and on the road by 8am is no easy exercise.

i try very hard not to yell, i try very hard not to smack - but sometimes i do.

i hate it and i always feel terrible. so yep i'm a bad mama.

do you ever lose it?

it seems i have an invisible suit

do you ever feel like you're invisible?

i certainly do, well that is until someone wants something.

i embarked on my weightloss/fitness mission about 2 months ago and i've been going really well. i've lost 11kg so far and i'm a hell of a lot fitter than i was and i'm just starting to feel like my body has some sort of normality about it. having 4 babies certainly isn't easy on the body!

aside from my personal trainer (who i love!) and my husband not one person has commented on me looking any different. i don't think i look drastically different yet but surely they can see something?

and what this does is highlights how invisible it can feel to be a mother.

prior to having my children i was a commercial sales manager for an appliance company. it was during the real boom in unit development and i was considered senior management and well.... important. there i had job satisfaction even if it didn't come in the way of the owner saying 'well done on getting that order for 150 units' i had a sense of completion. problems were solved, goods sent out and just jobs completed.

motherhood jobs are never completed. no-one ever says 'well done' and 'thank you' is about teaching the kids manners rather than someone actually being thankful.

so i figure clearly i must have my invisible suit on and people just can't see what a huge achievement loosing 11kg is...

do you ever feel invisible?

i'm sorry, what did you say?

today i took all 4 kids to a major shopping center to get lachlan's hair cut. i was prepared for the stares and the comments that people seem to think is acceptable to say just because you have more than 2 children.

the kids were actually good and we did received a few funny looks a bit like we were the travelling freak show but we didn't have to endure any comments. the lovely lady who cut lachy's hair said how lovely all the kids were and asked if i'd be trying for another boy, ahhhh that would be a NO! it did make a nice change from the usual things people say like:

gee you must have your hands full - ahh no shit sherlock!

i don't know how you cope - well actually neither do i but is there an option?

were they all planned? - no, we only 'tried' for our 3rd but feel completely blessed that we didn't actually have fertility issues.

gee that must be expensive - i don't recall asking you to pay for anything so how about you mind your own business!

are they all yours? - well unless i'm in the habit of picking up stray children around the place, yes, yes they are.

i don't know how you do it - i don't know that either.

don't you have a tv - sorry, what's that got to do with the price of cheese in china?

you're not having any more are you? - no i'm not but again that's none of your damn business!

now i know people aren't saying these things to be malicious but seriously do they really think they are the first ones who've said it to me? do you think pointing out obvious things to me helps me in my day?

so instead of a stare or a stupid comment how about a smile and "have a wonderful day".

please help this little boy & his family

i learnt of this terribly sad story some time ago. william morrison is a very sick little boy in brisbane and is suffering from a rare form of leukaemia.

his family has been by his bedside for the past 5 months, hoping & praying for him to get better. they are selling their family home as they have been unable to work in their normal jobs.

you can read william's story on the below link.

www.staystrongwill.com.au

if you can give to this lovely family and poor little boy please do so on the link on their website.

thank you.

R U Ok?

the short answer to this is no. no i'm not.

the long answer is this:

i'm now 12 weeks in after my 4th (and final) baby and i feel like i'm struggling.

i think i may be suffering from post natal depression. it actually has nothing to do with the kids and more to do with myself, how i feel about my body and my desire to loose 25kg. i've had 4 children in 5 years and it has obviously taken a toll on my body.

i wanted an easy way to loose the weight, it wasn't going to work. i picked myself up from this and decided ok, well, it's the old fashioned way then & contacted my personal trainer to go from there. we hit a few speed bumps sorting some stuff out and i crumbled.

when i hit lows they are really low and i cry at everything to the point where my 5yo keeps asking 'mummy why are you crying?'. i feel overwhelmed and i just don't know if i can pull myself out this time. this has all just hit me this week, up until now i have actually been ok.

i have never suffered from depression myself but i have experienced it with people around me so i am no complete stranger to it. but i feel defeated, i feel like all of those people who said 'how will you possibly cope darling?' have won. you can read about my previous post about it here.

i feel like i've failed. they were right. i'm not coping. i'm overwhelmed and logically i know it doesn't mean i've failed i can't help but feel it. i know it is nothing to be ashamed of so that's why i'm putting it out there. being a mother is no easy job.

looking after 6 people takes a lot of work. not hard work but constant, mundane and repetitive never ending work. the work is just never done, never. plus i run a business.

i am going to see my dr next week to talk about it and hopefully get some help for a little while to lessen the rock bottom lows.

things the books don't tell you

i started thinking about some of the things i've realised over the past 6 years, the stuff that you just don't find printed in all of those book you read about pregnancy, birth and beyond.

here's a list of a few i'd like to share:

• you will feel guilty
• you will cry, some sad tears, some happy
• it's ok to cry
• birthing any way is ok
• having pain relief through labour is ok
• some mothers judge and make other mothers feel bad. they are not worth your time
• breast feeding is great
• bottle feeding is great
• choice is great
• kids change your life
• c-sections hurt - a lot
• some things get easier, some get harder
• drink lots of pear juice after birth - trust me!
• the end of pregnancy is hard no matter who you are
• breastfeeding hurts at first, even when you're doing it 'right'
• a good photograph is all about angles
• fed is best
• if you've had a natural birth, you should not attempt to use a tampon for at least 6 months. when you do - it will hurt

can you relate to any of the things on the list above?

sharing

i don't like sharing.

pretty much plain and simple, i really don't like sharing anything.

i especially do not like sharing my bed, my pillow and my drinks. with anyone. obviously i do share my bed with my husband, and i am ok with that - really i am. what i don't like to do is share my bed with my children and definitely do. not. touch. my. pillow!

i guess some of this feeling is just me and some of it comes from me feeling like i share everything of me all the time. i've shared my body to grow 4 beautiful children over the past 5.5 years, i share my time, my emotion my everything all day and all night and i guess some little things i consider precious and just simply - mine.

how do you go with sharing, do you mind?

the strangest thing

so if you've read my blog before you may already know that i don't breastfeed. it is purely by choice and i am completely comfortable and ok with this choice. i had no desire to breastfeed this time with baby #4 but that wasn't always the case.

i did try to breastfeed my first baby, and in hindsight to stupid lengths. i really tried hard and wanted desperately for it to work. it didn't. i felt bad, i felt pressure, i felt like i had failed. i felt like i had to explain to people that i did try to breastfeed but i never got milk. i read all of these comments that everyone gets milk, you just have to try harder. i never got milk. plain and simple i just never got milk.

in the end it was such a horrific experience in general for me and my baby and i swore black and blue i was never going to put myself through that hell again. i heard there was a tablet you could take after the baby was born to stop you getting milk. as soon as i fell pregnant again i spoke to my dr and told him i wanted that, fine, it was sorted. when baby number 2, 3 & 4 arrived it didn't even cross my mind to breastfeed - until now....

a few weeks ago after my shower i wondered to myself if the tablet had indeed stopped my milk. i squeezed my breast and *gasp* there was milk....

this got me thinking 'what if'.. what if i i tried.. would i know what to do? would my baby know what to do?

did i try it? no. but i did wonder.

at the end of the day fed is best. if the baby is fed, happy and settled then life is good.

update

my little baby is 2 weeks old now and i can honestly say the time is just flying by, way too quickly.

i'm feeling good, my recovery is going well, much better than last time which is what everyone said. it is still harder than a natural birth recovery and it's hard not being able to do everything but i'm getting there.

i love all my children equally, however, this time i feel far more.. patient or something.... content maybe.

i love and appreciate this little baby more than anything and i am relishing every second she is this little as i know i won't have this ever again. the other kids are doing great and just love their new sister so much.

i'm 2 weeks old...

mila rose

welcome to the world mila rose.

you joined our family at 4.45pm on friday 1st july 2011.

we love you, you complete me and my child bearing, you complete us as a family.

tomorrow we will leave hospital and begin our life at home with dadda, your sisters and brother. your big sister loves you soo much as does your big brother, your little big sister is still adjusting to you but we just know she too will love you more than anything.

my love always
mama

x

1st july 2011

today is the day, today is your day, the day you will be born.

i'm feeling quite scared about the surgery but i am so excited to finally meet you. to touch you, to see what you look like, to see how big (or little) you are. to name you, your name, your special name.

here is the last picture of you in my belly, the next picture will just be you, wrapped up in a nice warm lanky or 'snug as a bug in a rug' as we like to say.

you have been a bit quiet this morning, i wonder if you know what's about to happen. i am enjoying feeling you move for the last time, the last time for you but the last time ever for me too.

i love you more than words can say.

mama

the end is near...

the date is set, the end is near and emotions are running high.

i finally got the date set with my dr this week and i have a focus point for this to all end. i am so happy, excited but most of all right now anxious and quite scared. it felt very confronting when i did all the paperwork with the dr for the surgery and he ran through all the risks of the surgery etc. now i know that is just procedure and i have had a c/section before (emergency) plus other surgery but this i felt quite emotional over. it is just sooooooooo different to giving birth naturally.

i am like an emotional ball of rubber bands ready to be cut and unravelled at any given second right now. i was even snitchy with one of my very dear, kind, helpful and caring friends (sorry anita!) for which i apologised after, i am just so on edge.

i had a really good chat with my best friend (thanks sarah) who has 5 children, had 3 natural, 4th emergency c/section, 5th kind of planned c/section so she totally gets where i am coming from on every level.

i know all will be fine and as soon as i see my precious little baby girl all will be forgotten, i just can't shake this emotional fear right now. i'm also getting my tubes tied during the surgery and whilst this is exactly what i definitely want to do i feel very sad that i won't be having any more babies. i can pass up the pregnancy bit any day but the new babies i just love!

i am keeping the date under wraps right now for my own sanity as i just can't be reminded all the time that it is approaching, plus i like the idea of making the news a little surprise for you all.

belly getting very big now....